Why the name?
Why the name Dark Night, Star Light?
As someone who is very in touch with their spiritual side, I’ve undergone through a lot of spiritual awakenings in my life.
In my recent in-depth healing journey, I came across something that was called a
Kundalini Awakening
which was a higher form of spiritual awakening.
Something more intense.
And one of the symptoms or an indication that you may be going through it was this thing called
Dark Night of The Soul.
I read up more on it and researched on it heavily, and it was crazy to me because I was in the midst of it.
That was literally what I was going through in real time.
Can you describe this Dark Night?
It was a period of my life that I’ve never had before.
It was dense and dark and icky.
It was just so intensely heavy, like the energy of you just feeling like being crushed by something heavy.
Or imagine it in a way where yourself is lying down on the floor and you see your whole life as this concrete ceiling and it was slowly, gradually descending and then everything around you is extremely dark
– it was getting harder and harder to breathe and the air was getting thin, and you just don’t know if you were going to make it out, alive even.
It truly was terrifying.
I was just always crying, insecurities was coming up the surface, childhood injustices were flashing back into my head, all the heartbreaks I’ve ever had in my life, all the disputes and all the life-threatening trauma was just rising up to the surface.
Creeping up on me.
Taunting me.
Intimidating me.
Like something jumping at me, screaming at me to deal with.
It was everything all in the one go and it honestly was so much.
I was truly purging all the toxicity in my body.
I was nauseous all the time, I was vomiting black and it was really scary.
There were points where there was dark thoughts of dark places and
I was like how is it coming to this?
It was just darkness, and it seemed like there were no bright days that existed anymore, and it truly was just nights
with no moon
and no stars.
No illumination.
No light.
The illumination you’re looking
for exists within your heart.
And that glow of light
has always existed within you,
even in every past version of you.
where it made sure
you could never give up,
on you.
So why Star Light?
Because I was going through this Dark Night of the Soul, all I saw and felt was darkness.
It was just this dark night with no hope of a better day, and you’re just waiting for a bit of light somewhere.
And so in this journey, it eventually leads you to become truly, wholeheartedly aware of your being and unconditionally loving yourself.
Flaws, shadows, wounds and all.
I’ve started my self-love journey long before my healing journey so I was glad that both journey merged with each other during this period I call my Dark Night of the Soul
Where I just kept affirming little words and phrases to keep me afloat and just to keep my spirits high.
One of them was that I referred myself as
a star.
And eventually I believed I was a star.
There was one night, that it hit me – and the belief just sank itself in my heart where I truly was
the star light
I was looking for in my dark nights.
The reason why I couldn’t see any other stars or any light of day and the reason why no other person or external thing could truly help me come out of this dark period was because it was me. I was the star.
I was the light
that I was looking for and I just wasn’t able to see it.
When that thought sank into my heart and core, I just envisioned myself as this ball of light.
I then imagined this radiant ball of light outside of me where it planted itself in my heart, and that image was enough for me to keep going and trust myself that I would make it.
It also made me realise that all the dark times that was coming up to the surface for me to work on, I imagined all past versions of me from those dark moments and situations.
Where I imagined the same glow of light in their heart, and I realised that I always had the light within me – because I made it this far.
I never gave up.
Even when I wanted to – there was always something in me that pushed me to keep moving forward.
I was just never aware of it. Never aware of my own light within through every dark days, dark period and just Darkness itself.
During this Dark Night of the Soul I realised – it was my own star light.
And after this realisation I imagined all versions of myself above me with their own internal star light glow
– and I was able to place them in this vast darkness I was going through.
And there was this image where each version of me were the stars and light I was looking for.
The internal glow of light was there the whole time.
They were the light I needed.
The motivation that I was able to get through it, even if the past felt like a fresh wound where it was happening to me presently.
I know have the awareness along with the strength to believe
that I can overcome it, again.
Only this time without it actually happening to me and experiencing the same scenario once again in full action.
I just needed
to feel it,
release it
and let it go with
love, light and healing.
So in my Dark Night of the Soul, my own star illuminated and created a light and now path I could feel and hold onto
knowing I’m guided in the right direction.
Where it could lead me out, and eventually, it gradually did.
And thus the creation of Dark Night, Star Light
